"The Ancient Arabic Order of the Nobles of the Mystic Shrine, commonly known as Shriners and abbreviated A.A.O.N.M.S., established in 1870 is an appendant body to Freemasonry, based in the United States. The organization is best-known for the Shriners Hospitals for Children they administer and the red fezzes that members wear. The organization is headquartered in Tampa Florida."(Wiki Intro)
For what it's worth, I only saw one gentleman wearing a fez. It was very brief, and when I looked again he was gone. He could've been a ghost; he certainly seemed old and regal enough to play the part.
The Shriners Auditorium is a large pavilion in the middle of nowhere in Wilmington, MA (if Bumblefuck was a town, it would have a Shriners Pavilion). It is staffed by the oldest people imaginable, and exudes a county fair vibe at all times. I have to assume the only reason I didn't see cotton candy or corn dogs is because they're out of season. Carnies, it would seem, are never out of season.
Rules of the Road
For all things Roller Derby, click here. For a not-so-brief rules explanation, stay here.
The game is played on an oval track. Sometimes it's an angled wooden track (like a NASCAR track, only wood), and sometimes it's a flat smooth concrete slab (like a street brawl, only on wheels).
Two teams of 5 are on the track together. The front 8, 4 on each team, comprise the "pack." They skate at a constant pace, and must keep together under guidelines defined by the pack referee. Two players behind them, 1 from each team, are the "jammers." They skate at their own pace, usually much faster than the pack.
The game is broken into 2-minute sessions called "jams." At the start of a jam, the pack begins to skate. A few seconds later the jammers start, and attempt to pass the pack. Whichever one gets through first is the "lead jammer." They are allowed to end the jam at any time before the two minutes. The other jammer can score points, but cannot end the jam prematurely. Generally the lead jammer will end before allowing the other team to score.
Jammers score points by racing around the track and passing opposing players in the pack. They can make 4 points for passing every opponent in the pack, and another point if they lap the other jammer. These 5 points are known as a "grand slam." A jammer can race around and pass the pack as many times as time and their endurance allows. The game goes for 2 halves of roughly 30 minutes each. Most points wins.
Skate Expectations
When I first thought of going to a roller derby game I had a certain vision of the whole thing: A grand arena with hundreds of screaming fans; chicken wings and beer flowing freely; trash-talking and brutal hits between whom could only loosely be called "ladies"; a grand celebration of a growing sport that everyone in the room was adamantly supporting.
It was in fact, to put it succinctly, not.
The bleachers that were there were in fact full. My best guess would put it around 200-300 people, plus standing room. A good turnout certainly, but the vibe was not that of a 300 person crowd. It was a hard to describe feeling that I feel I can only do through analogy:
Say you and a bunch of your friends hear about a great new board game. It's expensive, in fact pricier than any game you've ever bought. But you've heard such great things you all decide to pool your cash to get it. You plan the day, read the thick rulebook, set up the massive board, and settle in to play, all the while talking about how much fun it will be. The game starts slow, and in fact has a few tedious sticking points, but you all agree that the game really picks up after the first few rounds, even though none of you have actually played. So you play, and sit, and occasionally talk about how neat this or that thing is, when in reality you find that the whole experience is something of a let-down. Now, you dropped some serious coin into this, as did the others sitting around you. And they're all talking about how great the game is, though not with the same exuberance they did that morning. So you play along, and feign excitement so as not to be the downer of the party. Eventually it dawns on you that everyone else is feeling the same thing; they're underwhelmed, but unwilling to voice their concerns. So collectively, silently, you agree to maintain the fabrication that this over-hyped monstrosity is totally worth the significant time and money you sank into it.
Multiply that by 300 people, and you have the initial feel of this outing.
The excitement did pick up, and next post I'll describe the games themselves.
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