Life Experience: A Primer

Sometimes I feel like I haven't lived as much life as I should have at my age. Maybe I haven't traveled to as many places as I should like, seen enough sights, loved enough women, eaten enough exotic food, or made as indelible a mark on the world as a person blessed with as much talent and opportunity as I have could make. My Facebook page is comparatively devoid of the tell-tale signs of a happening mid-20's male with an active social life. At those times, I take a breath, step outside myself, and realize that I have always been a person captivated by many little things. A guy who sweats the small stuff, as comedian Kevin James says.

As such, I take immense pleasure in the fact that, in one week, I will be traveling to Washington, D.C. to take part in something very few people know about, participate in or, frankly, care for; The National Singles Tiddlywinks Tournament. Let me put that in a separate sentence fragment to highlight it:

The National Singles Tiddlywinks Tournament

I don't have a lot of insight into political affairs, I'm not movie-savvy, and Lord knows I couldn't carry on a sports conversation for longer than four minutes (unless we're talking about the intense epoch that is singles tennis. I'm STILL upset about this year's Wimbledon men's singles final), but I'd like to think I take part in a few noteworthy events here and there. And who among you can say they went to Nationals in Tiddlywinks? Probably very few of you; as of today, only 8 people are signed up. I hear it's a very intimate group.

The matches are set for Saturday the 29th and Sunday the 30th. I'll give my synopsis of the weekend when I get back. I don't have a twitter account, but if there's enough interest (pfft, HAHAHA) I'll get one and find a way to give live updates.

In the meantime, here's a link to get you started:

http://www.etwa.org

Take it easy.

An Open Letter of Apology to My Castmates

Dear Castmates,

In this evening's show, I didn't sing my verse to "Mournin' o' the Green" at the correct tempo.

I forgot to sing "Unless you're Bernie Madoff, it's time to get laid." Again.

My "Meow" in "9 Conversations With My Cat" was more "disinterested" and less "just animal," which is what I was going for.

I forgot at first to play "strange guy" in "So, I Haven't Been Single For a While." I only remembered after Lynne and Josh helped me out. Josh wasn't even in the show.

I didn't come out afterward.

I pulled my hammy. Or, rather, my groiny.

I didn't stop mid-show and pray to the east. West?

Sometime during the show, I forgot which cardinal directions Muslims face when praying.

No one was there specifically to see me. 10 people were there to see Rachel. Even Steve. The rest of our audience -- they can bite me (Come on, they'll never read this.).

And if anyone from the audience tonight reads this . . .

Bite me.

PS I am not drunk.

PPS Please don't really bite me.