An Open Letter of Apology to My Castmates

Dear Castmates,

In this evening's show, I didn't sing my verse to "Mournin' o' the Green" at the correct tempo.

I forgot to sing "Unless you're Bernie Madoff, it's time to get laid." Again.

My "Meow" in "9 Conversations With My Cat" was more "disinterested" and less "just animal," which is what I was going for.

I forgot at first to play "strange guy" in "So, I Haven't Been Single For a While." I only remembered after Lynne and Josh helped me out. Josh wasn't even in the show.

I didn't come out afterward.

I pulled my hammy. Or, rather, my groiny.

I didn't stop mid-show and pray to the east. West?

Sometime during the show, I forgot which cardinal directions Muslims face when praying.

No one was there specifically to see me. 10 people were there to see Rachel. Even Steve. The rest of our audience -- they can bite me (Come on, they'll never read this.).

And if anyone from the audience tonight reads this . . .

Bite me.

PS I am not drunk.

PPS Please don't really bite me.